I'm nervous to post about this but I can't not when I've been thinking about it for so long.
This was a thoughtful post, with many thoughtful comments, on the decision to change or not to change your last name when you get married. I'll be honest: I haven't made up my mind yet. I see pros and cons to both sides. But what hurts my feelings is when people assume there's no decision to be made--like with monograms. So what this commenter said really resonated with me:
"I understand the feminist issues with changing, or not changing your name when you get married, but I don't think the solution come from women making one decision or another, I think equality comes when we start asking men whether or not they're going to change their names."
Actually now that I reread it it's even more radical than when I first glanced over it--I thought it said "when we start asking women." I still agree with the even loftier sentiment, that equality will only truly arrive when we habitually ask the guy if he's going to change his name. But we're not even at the stage where everyone asks the girl . Whichever decision you made or plan to make, I respect that. But I think it is just that: a decision, and not a given.