Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Zilla.

Wow, I don't think I'm ever going to plan a wedding (no offense, Liz). For six months I've listened to the girl in the office next to me have at least twenty fights apiece with her fiance and her mother where at the end she hangs up on them. (This is an otherwise extremely mild-mannered girl we're talking about.) Here's a transcription of today's:

"All I need to know is if he's coming or not. I don't CARE if he doesn't come but he has to tell us today. ... Well, he must not understand American customs, but I need to know today if he's going to come. ... What do you mean he might leave early? Look, as long as he's sitting down at the table with a plate of food in front of him, that's what I need to know. I have to get the final head count to the caterer tomorrow. ... Then that means he's NOT coming if he's telling you he might come, and that's totally rude. ... And his wife, too? Then we're totally screwed! That is so rude of him! ... FINE, then YOU can call the caterer!" Slam.

4 comments:

Traci said...

Wow. The first lesson every bride needs to learn is that the caterers automatically account for no-calls and no-shows. So n final-final-this-had-better-be-exact head count is totally unneccessary. Not to mention impossible.

Liz said...

Ha! We'll be lucky if the caterer serves enough food for the people who will definitely be there. Last month, he was approximately 12 people short at a 45 person rehearsal dinner that only 35 people attended. Doing the math, approximately half of the people ate (had the full 45 shown, that would only be about a quarter) and, as one of the lucky half, I can definitely say I didn't eat an actual dinner sized portion - more like snack sized. But there's nothing I can do at this point, so I refuse to freak out about it. Instead, I will calmly call Pizza Hut and order several pizzas should we run short. Because nothing's classier than pizza at a wedding.
Good God, I'm going to have one hillbilly of a wedding...

liz said...

You WILL have a wedding, but it will be your wedding and just like much in life, weddings are (and must be for your own sanity) only what you want. If you want the stress and craziness, then you got it, weddings are the best place to find that. If you just let things go and realize NO ONE will realize your cake was not supposed to have a lemon filling but a berry filling and that your wedding dress has a huge grease stain along the back because you had no help transporting it from the tailor and had to stuff it into the back of a dirty little car (true stories). Please don't say stuff like that, I might just cry if I hear it from you again... anyone but you Laura.

the other lion said...

target. has. bridal. collection.