After a few weeks of Googling, Chris found a wedding location online that we REALLY liked the looks of, and my mom and stepdad did us the favor of driving over and scoping it out yesterday. They raved about the grounds. It's in a beautiful historic town in Virginia, easily airport accessible. Even the price isn't so bad.
BUT (of course there's a but) the venue not only requires you to go through a specific wedding planner, the wedding planner requires you to use their vendors.
Perhaps I'm making things overly difficult for myself, but after those initial weeks of not having a wedding vision, Chris and I now have a very strong vision, and it involves doing a lot of things ourselves. We don't want to be strong-armed into our choice of a photographer, caterer, or florist. I think imported stone columns, three terraces, and a boxwood maze are just going to have to be the elegant backdrop to some other couple's nuptials.
We're still thinking about it, but it might be back to Step One in terms of locale-hunting...