I realized that all the frivolous stuff, pretty things, registries, favors, shit that doesn't matter. Stuff I spend time thinking about, emailing about, blogging about because I don't want to think about other things. Sometimes those other things catch up to you and you shut your office door, if you are lucky enough to have one, and cry with your head on your desk.
I guess when that happens you don't want anyone to see, but you want people to know that the stupid surface stuff isn't what matters, even to you, even though it might seem like the only thing you ever talk to anyone about. It's just the sand you stick your head into. Because it's easier to think about plates than about things you can't fix.